


and the stars shall shine for us

by nutellamuffin



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Banter, Drabble, Emotions, Fluff, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Minor Angst, Remus Lupin Needs a Hug, Young Remus Lupin, Young Sirius Black, and who makes sense when they're half asleep anyways, i am so soft, ignoring canon (again), maybe in another drabble, maybe in another life, mostly - Freeform, not remus, post-moon, remus is half asleep and i love him, sirius takes care of remus and it's cute, they're almost there but not there yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25888834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nutellamuffin/pseuds/nutellamuffin
Summary: remus is still against sirius’ chest, and all sirius can think about is how much he loves him and how this can never last.or, where remus is half asleep and says everything sirius wishes he meant when he is wide awake.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, sort of - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 70





	and the stars shall shine for us

when the sun comes up, and sirius is just finishing tying the last bandage around remus’ ankle, he looks up in the four-poster bed to find that his eyes are fluttering shut for longer and longer each second. his other bandages are spottily red and sirius knows that they’re another reason remus will be late to class, but the real surprise is when he tries to leave and a gentle grip closes around his wrist instead.

perhaps remus wasn’t as asleep as sirius thought.

“you’re always rather warm, sirius,” remus starts, and sirius doesn’t need him to finish the end of his sentence before he’s crawling into bed with him, (and he remarks to himself that he is never particularly warm, remus is just always so cold,) and the other boy takes his usual post-moon spot against his chest and all is well.

for a little while.

sirius can’t get himself to fall asleep, but he doesn’t dare move, because remus is fastly so just an inch away from him. and somehow, even with the scars across his face looking bleached-white in the lighting, and a newly healed over cut on his lip from tonight a bright red, remus seems more innocent than he ever has.

he supposes he should cherish these moments, as his arm stills around remus’ shoulders, looking up to the ceiling of the four-poster; these moments where remus is either himself or too tired to care, sirius didn’t know. (whatever it is, it permits him to have this, these pauses in stretch of his life- a life that he, completely and honestly, didn’t think would last this long- where it is undoubtedly, peacefully quiet. remus’ quiet snoring is enough white noise, and sirius wishes he could hear it always for two reasons; one being that remus is tired enough to sleep for a lifetime, and the other being that if he can hear it, it means he is close enough to do so.)

“mm, pads?” remus mumbles, and shifts against sirius’ chest. he knows that voice from the nights that both of them pretend never existed, and anyone else would recognize the half-asleep slur of the boy’s tone, but only sirius knows the added softness of the way he says his name. and he wants to lock that voice up like a secret in his chest, near his heart, and never let anyone get to it.

but instead he brushes the sandy coloured hair back from remus’ face and echoes his quiet voice, “yeah, rem?” (because when remus is half asleep he’s allowed to be _remus_ and not _moony._ because the reason for that nickname just occurred and sirius doesn’t want to remind him of it, not when he’s relaxed like this.)

“you’re not such a bad egg.” he says, and he yawns, and sirius resists the urge to laugh. and remus, half asleep and- from the looks of it- half dreaming, scrunches his nose, and adds, “you know what i’m talking about.”

(sirius does not kiss his forehead, he lets his hair flop back into place. sirius does not nuzzle his cheek and tell him how much he truly means to him, he does not tell him why he stays to help with his bandages after everyone else falls asleep. sirius does not do anything, he stays still, and he waits.) “not sure i do, unfortunately. didn’t think i was much of an egg in the first place.”

“okay, maybe not an egg.” remus murmurs sleepily, and rubs one eye with the ball of his palm, which does nothing; because he simply curls up closer to sirius and closes his eyes again. “maybe more . . . of a pearl, in an oyster.”

sirius rather enjoys it when remus is half asleep. he feels like wide awake remus and half asleep remus are two entirely different people. (half asleep remus isn’t afraid to tell sirius how he feels. half asleep remus will allow himself to be held, half asleep remus will let sirius brush his hair away from his face and call him _rem_ in a quiet voice reserved only for him.) and then remus keeps going.

“you’re- deep in the ocean, where it’s dark, and there are a lot of scary things but there’s also you. shiny and pretty, just buried a little farther down than the rest. amongst the dark things, but not one of them.” remus yawns again, and sirius can tell he’s given up the battle of trying to keep his eyes open, because he exhales like the world has finally rolled off his shoulders and he can rest. “m’not making much sense, sirius. sorry. hope you know what i mean.”

sirius only smiles, and looks up again to the ceiling of the four-poster; and past it, into the sky, where the sun is only rising and remus can be himself again; and perhaps he will not say all these wonderful things, and perhaps he will not let sirius hold him and tend to his bandages, but the sunshine will make his hazel eyes sparkle when he smiles and _godric,_ sirius can’t give that up.

“yeah, rem, i know what you mean.”


End file.
